The absolute AUDACITY!

The Audacity

When I used to hear the word audacity, I always thought about it in a negative way. “Oh my God, can you believe the audacity of them?” That’s probably how most of us use it. But the older I get, the more I realise that audacity can actually be one of the most powerful tools that we have in our lives.

Especially for women. Especially for people from Northern Ireland. Especially for people who feel like they don’t fit in.

I think a lot of us were brought up to downplay ourselves a bit. Don’t think too big, don’t get notions, don’t stand out too much, don’t draw attention to yourself. And while humility is important, there’s definitely a difference between being humble and making yourself smaller just to make other people feel comfortable around you.

I think the younger generation are slowly moving away from that fear of being seen and heard. They’re realising that it’s actually okay to have goals and be ambitious and successful and make yourself look good and not feel embarrassed for it. And honestly, I think we need a little bit more audacity in our lives.

Have the audacity to walk into a room and not immediately feel inadequate. Have the audacity to walk into male-dominated spaces and just be there. Have the audacity to ask for more out of life and not limit yourself because of what you think you’re allowed to become. Don’t pigeonhole yourself because of your age or your gender or where you come from or what you look like.

Have the audacity to stand out. Have the audacity to let your voice be heard. Have the audacity to speak up when something doesn’t feel right instead of shrinking yourself down to avoid making other people uncomfortable.

And honestly, have the audacity to be your authentic self because so many people struggle with that. I struggled with it for years and it’s still an ongoing process sometimes. But I genuinely think the best version of yourself that you can be is the most authentic version of you.

The more you step into who you actually are, the more your life starts to align properly. Your relationships become better quality, your friendships feel more genuine and your career starts to make more sense because you’re no longer trying to force yourself into spaces that were never really right for you in the first place.

When you think about it, if you’re constantly filtering yourself or hiding parts of yourself or saying what you think people want to hear, then how can your life ever truly align with what you actually want?

But it’s easy to lose yourself. Especially in school where most of us learned how to fit in before we ever learned who we actually were. Sometimes fitting in meant blending into groups of people who were nothing like you, and that’s fine to a point as long as somewhere along the line you come back to yourself again.

That’s where audacity comes in. Having the audacity to stop being embarrassed of your little quirks and hobbies and the things that make you different. Having the audacity to go and do the thing you’ve been putting off because “people from Northern Ireland don’t do things like that” or “people like me don’t do things like that.”

Whether that’s starting a class, writing a book, starting a business, travelling the world or completely changing your life direction, don’t let yourself stop you. Don’t let imposter syndrome stop you either because everybody gets it. The difference is that successful people just take it along with them for the ride.

I think we all constantly battle with thoughts like “am I good enough?”, “am I smart enough?”, “who do I think I am doing this?” but the people who succeed aren’t people who never think those things. They’re the people who keep going anyway. They say, right fuck it, I’m doing it.

One of my life mottos has always been don’t die curious. Now to be fair, that has probably got me into a bit of bother in the past, but I still think there’s something really important about not letting go of the things you want to experience in life.

Have the audacity to apply for the promotion. Have the audacity to ask for the pay rise. Have the audacity to charge properly for your skills and your talent. Have the audacity to start the side hustle you keep talking yourself out of. Have the audacity to walk into the gym and feel like you belong there.

I can say all of this from the heart because I’ve felt so many of those things myself. Not good enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough, not right for certain spaces or groups of people. And then you push through it anyway and 9.99999 times out of 10, you surprise yourself with what you’re actually capable of.

Sometimes all it takes is one tiny leap of faith and suddenly your whole world opens up in ways you never expected.

But I also think audacity applies emotionally too. Have the audacity to talk about your feelings. I know, horrific. Because it’s so much easier to shove everything under the carpet and pretend you’re fine. It’s so much easier to avoid vulnerability because opening up can feel awkward and uncomfortable and exposing.

But if you want good quality relationships, both with yourself and with other people, then at some point you kind of have to.

Something that has really stood out to me recently is the importance of having difficult conversations. A lot of us avoid things because we don’t want awkwardness, we don’t want confrontation or we’re scared of hurting people, but some of the most difficult conversations I’ve had this year have actually led to the best outcomes.

It takes courage to say “I don’t think that’s okay” or “I need clarity on this” or “this upset me.” Do you know how easy it is to just smile and say “yeah no worries” when something is actually bothering you?

It takes real audacity to communicate honestly, but usually that honesty builds stronger relationships in the long run.

So maybe audacity isn’t arrogance after all. Maybe sometimes it’s just refusing to shrink yourself.

SO, what could you be audacious about today?