Advice to my 21 year old self, from 30 year old me

Hi, I am Catherine, a 30 year old who had a little revelation one day and decided she wanted to write a blog to help others in a bestie, relatable kind of way. I am old enough to give life advice but also young enough to still make plenty of mistakes and learn from them, and you will learn from my mistakes too because I am a fabulous overshare and will blog about them!

1. Enjoy your imperfections

I used to think I had to hide, Facetune out my spots, uneven skin texture, dry skin spots, but when I look at others and especially friends, people who I’ve been in love with or had feelings for (both boyfriends/situationships), I love seeing their wee spots or so-called ‘imperfections’. To me, it makes them cute, someone will think that about you – don’t hide it or feel like you need to cover them up, they make you beautiful. I now vow to not use filters apart from the ones that give you a tan haha I need that in my life. But I’ll never use the ones that change your face or make you look like someone you aren’t. 

2. Don’t hold a grudge 

From a young age, my mum always taught me that “No one is ugly, everyone on this planet has something beautiful about them” I’ll never forget that, and I guess that is where my empathy stems from. My constant yearning for seeing the good in people (inside and out), no matter what happens to me, no matter how something unfolds, I’ll never hold a grudge. I’ll thank that person (mostly to myself, not to them) for coming into my life because everyone you meet is there for a blessin’ or a lesson and it’s up to you to figure out what that lesson is.

Sometimes it takes you years to figure it out but it will always come around and you will have that ‘aaaaaah right ok, that’s why they behaved like that because it taught me to be strong for this current situation’. Try to see the good in everyone, holding a grudge only harms you – learn from it, let it go, let it flow and you will glow! 

3. Read!!!! 

Read. Please read books, or listen to audiobooks, but not only read – apply whatever you have read or been taught to your life. I say this as a person who only ever reads self-help books, motivation books and mindset books so please don’t apply a book to your life if all you read is murder mystery’s lol. People don’t tend to pay for what you know, they pay for what you do. It’s very easy to read and talk about the amazing things you have learned, but if you don’t apply them to your life? Then that’s wasted time, intelligence and knowledge. Do yourself a favour and take action on all of the wonderful things you read and learn.

4. Tomorrow is promised to no one 

Tomorrow is promised to no one. See that fancy champagne you have stored for a celebration? Drink it today. That outfit you are saving for a fancy occasion? Wear it doing the dishes. Don’t wait about. Life can be taken from you at any moment and all of the lovely things you are saving for a big moment in your life will be of no use to anyone. Enjoy life. Don’t worry about what other people think, they are too busy worrying about what other people think of them instead of thinking about you and the few pounds you have put on or the fact that your hair needs done. Embrace life and don’t let your ego or insecurity’s hold you back. There’s only ever going to be one of you on this earth, make the most of every moment and don’t let the little voices in your head dull who you are as a person or hold you back. 

5. Put. Away. Your. Phone!!!!!

Ok so this one is a bit of an oxymoron for me. I work in marketing which means I deal with social media a lot as a job, but (and this is a big but) there is a massive difference between business social media and personal social media. For quite a while there, I found that I was comparing myself to everyone on social media, and of course, we all know people generally only post the best versions of themselves, I too am extremely guilty of this. I’ve posted pictures looking happy, being active and sounding like I am on top of the world when actually, in my head I was in a dark place and finding small tasks in life like replying to my friend’s messages and keeping up appearances quite hard.

We all go through ups and downs in life – your role model, your idol footballer, that influencer that you follow and want to be like, even the political activist from 50 years ago that you look up to – they ALL have suffered down days, bad mental health and not feeling the best. We all do. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide from your friends and nothing that you should think will never get better, those hard days and bad feelings are only temporary and just like the seasons they will change and flourish. Hold on to that thought when you are at your lowest.

I’ve gone off on a tangent here but yes back to the phone chat. I only recently discovered how much I depended on my phone, I was chatting to someone who wasn’t on his phone much and said when he was out or doing something he never really checked or used his phone, this was pretty much alien to me. My phone was in my hand for 10 hours a day (according to screen time stats) and hearing him say that got me thinking. I bought the book ‘how to break up with your phone’ and put everything in to practice.

One of my best friends from primary school, Sinead, actually messaged me and said ok let’s do a deal, no social media from Monday until Friday at 9pm. I agreed and we did it, and what a wonder move that was. My productivity in work hit the roof, my mental health was amazing and I felt like I had stopped watching other people live their life through my phone and actually got stuck into my own life. I was fully present in life. Lots and lots of amazing things have happened to me in the short time from I made the decision to limit my time on social media and il not bore you with them but I just want to make the point that you all should break up with your phone – I don’t mean not use it at all, but re-think how you use it! Don’t waste hours of your day watching other people live their life, go out and grab yours by the balls. 

P.s. this was inspired by a recent visit to a good friends grave, Ryan Burns. He’ll be proud of this <3 

You can buy the book ‘How to Break Up with your Phone’ here.

Read more of my blogs here.