My type on paper…

“Hi my names Catherine. I’m 31, from Belfast, I work in Marketing and I’m looking for a tall, built rugby boy” 

I’m laughing typing that out. Basically I asked my friends what they think my type is and that is a brief synopsis. Here are what a few of them said… 

As you can see there is a bit of a theme, it’s all mainly about looks too LOL. This must stem from my appreciation of men involved in sport but it’s more about the fact that I appreciate someone who is part of a team and dedicated to something that they love, have a hobby, are into wellness etc 🤣, never, ever about the shallow stereotypical appearance of a rugby boy. I will also counteract that and say that I have been on very few dates with rugby guys so that is false information from my friends. They are worse than the daily mail firing out the false allegations.

I feel like looks play a part initially, but what it really all comes down to is who they are as a person and how you feel when you are around them. Here is what I feel are some of the fundamentals to a relationship and I guess you could say this is my true type on paper as they say. 

1. Comfort

Not just laying down on the sofa with a comfy blanket. I mean comfort to show every side of yourself that you might hide from others. Comfort to be that little geek you where when you were a child, letting it shine through. Or feeling comfortable to sing when you think you haven’t a note in your head. The comfort to cry, the comfort to show your emotions without the fear of being judged. The comfort of being whole heartedly you, no one else but you. The comfort to sit in silence together. 

If you show up to a relationship not 100% truthful to who you are, that visage will wear off after a while you can’t keep an act forever, plus who you are is worth being loved so why not be unashamedly you.

2. Trust

Trust is a fundamental aspect for everything relationship wise. How can you build a beautiful and blossoming relationship if you don’t have trust. You gotta trust this person with a lot. Trust that you can be vulnerable and they won’t hurt you, trust that you can tell them your secrets, trust you can depend on them when times get tough. 

Trust that they mean what they say, and say what they mean.

Trust takes time and as time goes on you deposit into the emotional bank of trust with people you meet, don’t take the shortcuts, it’s worth it.

3. Good communication 

This is a biggie. Doesn’t really need to much explaining, if you want some good communication tips you can get more info on Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus here in my wee book review section.

4. Never loose the spark within yourself 

Sounds so cheesy, but I have seen so many people go from being this vibrant life loving person to a drained soul from dedicating so much time to others and forgetting about themselves. All of your relationships and their quality stem from the quality of your own relationship with yourself. So focus on that, satisfy your own hobbies/passions don’t rely on someone else to make your fun. You’ll have so much more to talk about and share when you go off and have your own life. Usually us humans go into relationships seeking something we feel we need, hoping to find that in another person only to realise it’s not there. When you enter a relationship without that need, it’s a completely different story – you’re not with them to fill a void, your with them for who they are.

5. Finally, never forget how it all started. 

This is where you keep the spark alive. Where did you first meet? Go back there. Have date night in places you never would imagine and I don’t mean a fancy restaurant. I mean go camp under the stars on the anniversary of the day you both met and get the telescope out to view your star sign. Or spend the weekend in the city you both first met and relive your first few dates. Dates don’t have to be expensive. The best dates are the sentimental ones that cost next to nothing. Think back to what mattered to you both at the beginning, where you where, and remember how amazing the excitement of new love together felt. Never forget it. 

Some times we can fall in love with the potential of who people can be in our heads, it’s not actually them. It’s who we have made them out to be in our own perception sometimes overriding who they actually are. 

Let go of the controls, just let them simply be. Observe that, notice how you feel when they are being 100% themselves, let go of trying to change some one to mould them into your idea of perfection. Allow them to be exactly who they want to be, and encourage them to do exactly what they want to do. Does that align with your boundary’s? Perfect! If it doesn’t? Make your boundaries clear and let them decide if they would like to adjust to align with yours of their own will. Love can be hard at times but it can also be free flowing, natural and beautiful. 

Quite a few people do say my type doesn’t exist anymore and I need to readjust my expectations. I am happy to wait until I get that feeling of wow I want to hang out with this person forever.  Some call it fussy but I’m just going with what feels right in my soul. 

Whoever it is, I wonder what they are doing right now like. They prob don’t even know I exist, I’ll look back on this blog one day and be like here how mad is it that I was wondering what you were doing on 25th July 2022 and I didn’t even know who you were 🤣. 

That’s a wee bit exciting when you think about it. There’s people out there that you haven’t even met yet that could change your life forever. 

So there you have it, that’s my type. Someone that I feel comfortable with, who I can trust, who has good communication skills and a good heart. I believe that type of person does exist. Actually I have two more requests and that’s it – always get me a surprise from the shop and do everything car related like bringing it for MOT etc I just wasn’t made for that car admin life like I can barley even park my car. 

Right universe, I’ll leave the rest up to you, the rugby/gym head aesthetics are optional 😂 💫🪐